Why are late 20s very depressing?

 

But they're not. Then what could be the problem here?

Here is the greatest illusion that many depressed minds that ask questions like these on Quora fall prey to. They confuse the order of events as follows:

1. Your mind starts talking.
2. You have rational thoughts.
3. You're depressed.
4. Repeat.

If this were true, then rationality comes before depression, making everything you think true and universal and correct. When rational thoughts back your depression, you start seeking reasons to escape it, because you believe reasons caused it. But...

REASONS NEVER CAUSE OR CURE DEPRESSION.

This is the trap. Here is the proper, natural, real, true order of things:

1. You're depressed.
2. Then your mind starts talking.
3. Then you start rationalizing your thoughts.
4. Repeat.

That's what's actually happening.

DEPRESSION ALWAYS HAPPENS FIRST.

Now, here is why it's so easy to confuse the order of things. What happens when we repeat? This is the correct order repeating:

1. First you're depressed.
2. Then your mind starts talking.
3. Then you start rationalizing your thoughts.
4. Then you're depressed.
5. Then your mind starts talking.
6. Then you start rationalizing your thoughts.
7. Then you're depressed.
8. Then your mind starts talking.
9. Then you start rationalizing your thoughts.
10. Then you're depressed.
11. Repeat.

What happens is we forget. We forget how it all started. When you try and remember when you were first depressed, you can't. And you won't, because you don't want to. That is your depression talking.

YES, DEPRESSION TALKS.

It's pure and simple. You're depressed. This always happens first. And then it just stays. In other words, even when you're at #2 or #3 or #4 or #5, you're always depressed. So at this point, there really isn't any order at all. Except, the more you think about it, the more your mind tends to revert to rationality coming first. But this only happens because it's easier to remain depressed that way. The truth is the greatest excuse to do or be anything, always.

Except, those who don't get depressed won't be depressed even in your shoes. And even if you swap places with someone who never gets depressed, chances are, you will. And that's because it's you that is depressing yourself.

YOU are depressing!

I know, this is depressing isn't it? Except, if you weren't depressing, you wouldn't be depressed even with this revelation. You'd be like, "Dayam! I need a vacation!" and find your way out of it. That's what non-depressed people do. They find their way out of it.

If you eliminate the depression at #1, then #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 all go away. It all goes away. And what must be understood is that #1 is physical, and physical cures work the best. Is there music you love? People you love? Places you love? Food you love? Sleep? These activities are physical. And once they're accomplished, the cloud is lifted. That's how healthy minds work, and this is how smart people who have a grasp of their emotions and of themselves take care of their emotions and of themselves. Happy people know how to make themselves happy.

Of course, it's also important to recognize when it's absolutely okay to be sad. Sad things happen. But this is never to be confused with depression. Depression is being stuck at #1, and being unable to get rid of it. Or rather, not wanting to get rid of it. This is how you know you have a problem. This is how you know if you are depressing yourself. This is how you know you have depression. And if you do,

DEPRESSION IS A PHYSICAL CONDITION.

It is not a rational condition. You are not being rational. You certainly may be logical, but your premises are flawed.

"Late 20s are depressing."

That is a flawed premise.

If you cannot make yourself happy, please seek professional help. You're not a failure. You're just unwell. No matter what your depression might say or have you think or have you believe, if you do have depression, then EVERYBODY wishes for you to get well soon. Even strangers like me.

The biggest issue with depression is that it actually feels good. Not only that, you have every right to be depressed if you want to. Your emotions are your own.

Everyone has experienced some degree of depression. It's when your mind starts wanting to be sad. It's when depression starts talking. But when do we know we have a problem? When should we take the next step? And when is a little catharsis healthy?

This is actually for you to decide for the most part. Many people do successfully self medicate with alcohol or other drugs. Here are some simple objective tests for when it could be a good idea to get help:

• Someone brings it up.
• It's getting in the way of how you wish to live your life.
• You're more depressed than you actually want to be.
• You can't remember the last time you weren't depressed.
• You try to be happy, but can't.
• You've become an alcoholic.
• You have suicidal thoughts.
• It's harmful.

Just know that there is help. If your depression is beyond your control, just seek help.