People will come in and out of your life,
but once you settle down with the one you desire to spend your life
with, it’s important to evaluate the health of the relationship.
Entering a union with the wrong person could have a negative impact
not only on your emotional health but also your physical health. How do
you know you’re in a healthy relationship? Here are seven signs you’re
with someone who has your best interests at heart.
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1. You give each other space
Quality time is great (and necessary), butif you feel the need to spend every waking moment together and you’re always wondering what your partner is doing and who he or she is spending time with, you’re entering unhealthy territory. You need to give and receive some space every now and then so you can nurture your own goals and hobbies and have time to engage in activities your partner may not necessarily enjoy. If you’re always together, you won’t have time to appreciate each other.
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2. You’re not afraid to speak your mind
You shouldn’t feel like you have to edit yourself when having a discussion with your partner. You should be comfortable speaking freely about anything. You will each have needs and wants at one time or another, and it will be important for you to be able to communicate those desires.“We know what to say, but we’re afraid to say it. We worry that our relationships are too fragile to handle the truth. We don’t want to rock the boat. We don’t want to ruin what little peace we have left. After all — we say to ourselves — we have to work with them, live with them, sleep with them. Better just to keep quiet,” said psychologist Jennifer Kunst. “But we all know the problem that ensues. There is no peace in that quiet. The pot of unspoken truth simmers. The feelings stew. The pressure mounts. And then we lose not only our cool but our perspective. When we finally speak up, we spew. And the truth of what we really had to say is lost. So the key to speaking up — at least as I see it — is to speak up sooner rather than later.”
3. You feel good about yourself
Spending time with your partner should make you
feel better about yourself. If you leave feeling worse, or dread
spending time together, this is a sign that something is not quite
right. There is no room for verbal abuse or comparison. A healthy
relationship is characterized by kind, uplifting words. You should both
feel so good after being around each other that you want to be better
and do better. Time spent together should be uplifting, not
discouraging.
4. You share similar values
Do you and your partner have similar views on religion? How about politics? You’ll save yourself a fair amount of relationship tension if you can agree on a basic value system. In addition, if you decide to have children, this can make childrearing much easier. Compatibility is a natural alignment of lifestyle choices and values between two people. Similar value systems contribute to increased compatibility.“Compatibility usually corresponds to the long-term potential between two people,” said personal growth expert Mark Manson. “High compatibility between people comes from similarities in their lifestyles and values. Educated and liberal people usually date other educated and liberal people…For no other reason than people of opposite moral values, quite literally, repel each other. And sometimes violently.”
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