Most people set goals they believe they can attain rather than goals they actually want.
This phenomenon is so pervasive that it influences almost every part of our lives. We choose a life partner, a career and even the nourishment we put into our bodies based on what we think is “good enough” for us. This leads to lives that are limited and unfulfilling as we plod along with the same old dull routine day after day.
What if we switch that thinking around and instead of setting goals we know we can attain, we set goals for what we actually want? How would our lives be transformed if we reached even half of the goals we really wanted instead of the ones we think we deserve?
It’s Good Enough For Me
I am consistently amazed at the number of people who are living lives that are “good enough.” There is nothing wrong with contentment but when we never experience the richness and fullness that life has to offer for risk-takers, we become colorless and dull. Life becomes an existence rather than a life we love living.
Personally, I believe that the reason this attitude of “It’s good enough for me,” is so pervasive because we are taught this concept from early childhood. In school, we are taught what a passing grade is but we’re not always encouraged to reach for the “top of the class.” In our jobs, we are given a detailed job description rather than being allowed to exercise our creativity to be better than the standard. Almost anywhere we look the idea of “good enough” is reinforced.
What if, just once, we threw that type of thinking away and chose to set lofty goals that expressed our hidden dreams and desires? What would that look like? How would our life change if we stopped saying, “It’s good enough for me,” and instead said, “I want, deserve and desire this goal enough to work for it, no matter what it takes”?
Three Keys to Goal Setting
In order to set these types of goals, there are three key things we must do.
First, brainstorm ideas on the topic: “What would I love?” Try to actively resist the temptation to write down things you know you can do. If you were handed a magic lamp with a genie inside and told to rub it in order to get three wishes, what would they be? These “wishes” are actually disguised goals that you want on a deep and personal level.
Second, we must actually work on setting goals that point toward our “wishes.” While you may not be able to immediately jump from where you are now to where we want to be, you can set goals that push you in the right direction on the path of attainment.
Let me give an example. Suppose we are in Los Angeles and want to go to New York. We start on our journey and get as far as Las Vegas. Now, Las Vegas is not New York but it is closer to New York than Los Angeles. Next, we plan to get to Denver and find a way to make it there. While Denver is certainly not New York, it is closer than either Los Angeles or Las Vegas. Perhaps our next goal would be Chicago. Eventually, we will find ourselves in New York because of our consistent setting and actualization of smaller goals that point to our “wishes.”
Finally, we must learn to manage our doubts. I have a favorite way to do this. You can say to yourself, “Up until now, I have not…” and then fill in whatever your goal is. This phrase awakens the subconscious and prepares it for the next statement, which is, “But from now on, I am going to…” This gives you control of your thoughts, turning you toward your next goal.
No matter what we choose to do with our life, setting goals will push us towards our dreams. Try setting goals that are not in your comfort zone and watch what starts to happen!
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