1. Assume people have good intentions.
Since you can't read minds, you don't really know the "why" behind
the "what" that people do. Imputing evil motives to other people's weird
behaviors adds extra misery to life, while assuming good intentions
leaves you open to reconciliation.
2. Avoid using negative words.
Stop using negative phrases...such as "I can't," "It's impossible,"
or "This won't work." Stop using profanity, too. What comes out of your
mouth programs your mind. When you talk trash, you're transforming your
brain into trash.
3. Avoid spending time with stressed-out people.
You may not realize it, but your physiology is programmed to mirror
the physiology of those around you. In other words, you can "catch"
stress from other people. So although it may not be possible to avoid
stressed people all the time, avoid them as far as possible.
4. Begin each day with expectation.
If there's any big truth about life, it's that it usually lives up to
(or down to) your expectations. Therefore, when you rise from bed, make
your first thought be, "Something wonderful is going to happen today."
Guess what? You're probably right.
5. Breathe more deeply.
Breathing deeply calms you down but, more importantly, it helps
ensure that plenty of oxygen is getting into your lungs and into your
blood stream, where (among other things) it helps your brain work more
efficiently.
6. Celebrate more frequently.
The small and large successes and accomplishments in your life
deserve recognition. It's a mistake to head straight for the next task
or the next goal without celebrating, even if it's only patting yourself
on the back.
7. Daydream more frequently.
The idea that daydreaming and working are mutually exclusive belongs
back in the 20th century. It's when you let your thoughts wander that
you're more likely to have the insights that will make you both unique
and more competitive.
8. Decide that you MUST achieve your goals.
When you approach a task that leads toward your goal, never start out
by saying, "I'll try...." When you use that phrase, you're giving
yourself permission to fail. Instead, phrase your action in terms of "I
will...!" or "I must...!" No wiggle room allowed.
9. Define "failure" as "failing to take action."
Regardless of your goals and milestones, you don't have control over
anything except your own behavior. Redefining failure as "failing to
take action" puts failure (and therefore success) within your control.
10. Deflect partisan conversations.
Arguments about politics and religion never have a "right" answer but
they definitely get people all riled up over things they can't control.
When such topics surface, bow out by saying something like: "Thinking
about that stuff makes my head hurt."
11. Don't waste energy on hate.
Hate is an emotional parasite that eats away at your energy and
health. If something is wrong with the world and you can change it, take
action. If you can't take action, you're better off to forgive and
forget.
12. Don't take calls from strangers.
Unless you're working in telesales or product support, there's no
reason you should ever take a call from somebody you don't know. After
all, when was the last time you took an unexpected call that was truly
important? If it's important, they'll get you through email.
13. Don't take yourself seriously.
The ability to laugh at your foibles not only makes you happier as a
person, it makes you more powerful, more influential, and more
attractive to others. If you can't laugh at yourself, everyone else will
be laughing behind your back.
14. Don't try to win every argument.
Some battles aren't worth fighting, and many people are easier to
handle when they think they've won the argument. What's important isn't
"winning," but what you, and the other people involved, plan to do next.
15. Don't succumb to malice or gossip.
Before you tell a story about anybody else, or listen to such a
story, ask yourself four questions: 1) Is it true? 2) Is it kind? 3) Is
it necessary? and 4) Would I want somebody telling a similar story about
me?
16. Don't worry what others think about you.
You can't mind-read and you don't have everyone else wired into a lie
detector. Truly, you have NO IDEA what anyone is REALLY thinking about
you. It's a total waste of time and energy to cling to your own idea of
what that might be, especially if it's negative.
17. Drink more water.
Even a tiny amount of dehydration can "drain your energy and make you
tired," according to the Mayo Clinic. They recommend that men drink
roughly three liters (about 13 cups) and women 2.2 liters (about nine
cups) of total beverages every day.
18. Eat a big breakfast.
There's truth to the old saying that you should eat breakfast like a
king, lunch like a merchant, and supper like a pauper. Fueling up early
makes you less likely to need that extra jolt of sugar at about 10:30
a.m.
19. End each day with gratitude.
Just before you go to bed, write down at least one wonderful thing
that happened. It might be something as small as a making a child laugh
or as huge as a million-dollar deal. Whatever it is, be grateful for
that day because it will never come again.
20. Exercise your eyes.
While working at a screen, periodically stare at something that's far
away, like out the window. If necessary, get up and find a window or at
least a hallway so that you can focus at a distance. This keeps your
eyesight from degenerating.
21. Find the right job for YOU.
While some work environments are inherently difficult, if you're
consistently miserable, it's your fault. You owe it to yourself and your
co-workers to either find a job that makes you happy or make the best
of the job you've got.
22. If it's scary, do it now.
Being successful means taking risks, and risks are inherently scary.
Rather than letting fear keep you from taking action, use it as a signal
that it's time to actually take action. It may sound trite, but there's
real truth the old saying: "Feel the fear, then do it anyway."
23. Know and keep your personal limits.
While your job might sometimes seem like the most important thing in
your world, you're killing a part of yourself if you let work situations
push you into places that violate your privacy and your integrity.
24. Let go of your results.
The big enemy of happiness is worry, which comes from focusing on
events that are outside your control. Once you've taken action, there's
usually nothing more you can do. Focus on the job at hand rather than
some weird fantasy of what might happen.
25. Listen to something inspiring.
Your ears are the pathway to your brain. When doing something
visually boring (like driving), listen to audio books or motivation
talks. When you need some extra energy, listen to music that "pumps you
up."
26. Make a public commitment.
To provide an extra oomph to your efforts, make a formal public
commitment to your goals. For example, you might want to sign up for a
charity race that you couldn't possibly run without first getting
yourself in tip-top shape.
27. Make peace with your past.
Focusing on past mistakes or wrongs inflicted on you is like driving a
car while looking in the rearview mirror. You'll keep heading in the
same direction until you collide with something solid.
28. Make your goals pervasive.
Post your goals everywhere you spend time. Post them on your bathroom
mirror, right behind your computer screen, and on the dashboard of your
car. The more you see your goals, the easier it will be to achieve
them.
29. Monitor your progress.
Keep a record of what you've already accomplished. Review this when
you're feeling discouraged or unsure--it's an instant confidence builder
and helps you focus on the positive.
30. Never argue with strangers.
When you're driving, you're going to see people driving in ways that
are stupid, dangerous, and annoying. Even so, you're wasting your energy
getting upset about what they do, much less reacting to it by honking
or flipping the bird.
31. Never attend agenda-less meetings.
Meetings are only useful if people know why they're meeting in the
first place. An agenda provides focus and purpose. The lack of an agenda
guarantees meandering conversations that dive into ratholes. They're a
waste of your (and everyone else's) time.
32. Realize that YOU are responsible for your emotions.
Your attitude isn't controlled by the outside world. While truly sad
things do happen, most of the time your attitude is the result of how
you're viewing the world, rather than what's happening in it.
33. Remember that everything will change.
The nature of the physical universe is change. Nothing remains the
same; everything is, as the gurus say, transitory. Whether you're
celebrating or mourning or something in between, this, too, will pass.
34. Remember that rejection is an illusion.
Rejection is an emotionally-loaded term that people unwisely use when
they fail to achieve a goal that involves another person. Nobody feels
"rejected" when they set a goal to, say, run a four-minute mile, but
then only end up running it in five minutes.
35. Set achievable yet inspirational goals.
If you don't believe your goal is achievable, you won't take action
to achieve it. Therefore, any goal that you set must be within the realm
of possibility and tied to actions that you can actually take.
36. Set measurable milestones.
Big goals are easier to achieve if you break them up into smaller
chunks or milestones. Achieving milestones gives you more confidence,
strengthens your motivation, and helps you build momentum.
37. Smile and laugh more frequently.
Contrary to popular belief, smiling and laughter are not the RESULT
of being happy; they're part of a cycle that both creates and reinforces
happiness. Find reasons to smile. Never, ever suppress a laugh.
38. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Everybody, and I mean everybody, starts out in a different place and
is headed on their own journey. You have NO idea where someone else's
journey might lead them, so drawing comparisons is a complete waste of
time.
39. Stop complaining about not having enough time.
You get the same amount of time every day as everyone else. You may
feel you're short on time and that you desperately need more, but when
the day started, you got your fair share: 24 hours. Nobody got any more
than you did, so stop complaining.
40. Stop listening to and leaving voice mails.
A voice mail message consumes minutes of your time (more if you have
to replay) to communicate information you could absorb from an email in
seconds. Explain in your outgoing message that you don't use voice mail
and provide your email address.
41. Stretch regularly.
Your body is not well suited for sitting down for long periods of
time. Quite the contrary, the human body evolved so that it's optimized
for running around in the woods, whacking animals with a stick.
42. Take a walk after lunch.
Numerous scientific studies have shown that a walk after a meal
improves your digestion, helps you regulate your blood sugar, and
increases your mental acuity. It's the best way to avoid that "heavy"
feeling that often follows a meal.
43. Take action immediately after setting a goal.
Once you've gotten your goals set into your mind, it's time to take
action. Approach each action with confidence that you'll eventually
succeed. The more action you take at the beginning, the more momentum
you build.
44. Take power naps.
Lack of sleep is disastrous to your health and numerous studies show
that people are more productive at work after taking a quick nap. Don't
fall into the trap of working when you're sleepy. You'll get it done
faster if you give your brain a break.
45. Take the stairs.
While stair climbing doesn't consume all that many calories (about
300 if you're average height and weight and climb five flights, five
times a day), it does cause your heart to work harder, thereby improving
your circulation and your overall health.
46. Take time to plan and prioritize.
The most common source of stress is the perception that you've got
too much work to do. Rather than obsess about it, pick one thing that,
if you get it done today, will move you closer to your highest goal and
purpose in life. Then do that first.
47. Think of rejections as steppingstones.
When I wanted to publish my first business book, I sent the proposal
to dozens of editors and got plenty of "rejection" letters. Rather than
feeling discouraged, I started each day by laying out the letters on the
floor and walking on them as if they were steppingstones.
48. Throw out things that aren't useful or beautiful.
You'll be spending about a third of your waking adult life at work.
Why would you want to fill your work environment--and that part of your
life--with objects that are useless and ugly?
49. Treat setbacks as success signals.
Most people treat setbacks as mini-failures, and often use them as an
excuse to give up...and therefore fail. Learning what doesn't work is
an essential part of learning what does! Setbacks are a sign that you're
making progress.
50. Turn off background TV.
Many households leave their TVs on as background noise while they're
doing other things. The entire point of broadcast TV is to make you
dissatisfied with your life so that you'll buy more stuff. Why
subliminally program yourself to be a mindless consumer?
51. Turn off depressing news.
So whenever there's a news story that starts to make you angry or
upset, change the channel--unless it's 100 percent relevant to your
life--or click to another page. Why torture yourself needlessly? You're
only draining away your own energy!
52. Turn off your computer alerts.
Doing something creative, talking to somebody important, or absorbing
complex information are all impossible if your computer and phone are
chirping and beeping for your attention. Whatever it is, it can wait.
53. Use more positive words.
When asked "How are you?" respond with "Terrific!" or "Fabulous!" or
"I've never felt better!" rather than a depressing "OK" or "Getting by."
Rather than saying, "I'm enraged!" say "I'm a bit annoyed"--or, better
yet, "I've got a challenge."
54. Use technology to stay focused.
Set reminders in your email and calendar programs to keep you focused
on achieving your goals rather than just noting activities that pop up
throughout your daily life. Harness technology to focus your efforts
rather than distract them.
55. Work 40 hours a week (or less).
Workaholics may think they're accomplishing more than the less
fanatical worker, but in fact, long hours result in stressed-out people
who get too sick to work and produce sloppy results that must be either
scrapped or redone.
56. Write your goals down on paper.
Talk is cheap, so goals aren't real unless they're written down on
paper, by hand. This subliminally tells your mind that these goals are
IMPORTANT and DIFFERENT, as opposed to a text email that you send to
yourself, which is soon composed and soon forgotten.
57. Write your goals out every day.
The more frequently you write your goals down on paper, the more
power they've got. When Scott Adams, of Dilbert fame, wants to achieve a
goal, he writes that goal down 10 times every morning.
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